Hal Stratton's (and Your) Personal Transformation
Most of us have grown up with beliefs that don’t serve us. We live in an imperfect world. We are nurtured by imperfect care-givers (some much worse than others). And, especially when children, it’s easy to misread cues in our environment and arrive at false conclusions about ourselves, life and relationships. Then we spend our adulthood acting out those beliefs. They become the paradigm, so to speak, from which we view the world. [Read more...]
“The strongest oak in the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun.” Napoleon Hill
I look around at people who have suffered incredible hardship and wonder how they do it. How is it that some people grow up in very challenging circumstances or experience great trauma or loss and yet survive? In many cases, not only survive but thrive. Like Charlie Plumb in my last post. Upon being captured, tortured and tossed in a small cell, Charlie wasn’t sure he’d make it or that he wanted to make it. Yet somehow he developed the “attitude,” as his doctor back home called it, to overcome his hellish circumstances. [Read more...]
A number of years ago I moved my family from Denver to Spokane, Washington, where I had accepted a new job. I was not aware at the time of how difficult an adjustment the move would be to my children, who were then 14, 12 and 9 years of age. It was especially difficult for my 12 year-old son, Jonathan, who came home from school every day complaining about life in Spokane. Nothing was right. He hated the weather. The kids at his school weren’t nice. His teacher was boring. There was nothing to do at home at night. And on and on. [Read more...]
In my last article, I discussed three ways of living or themes around which we organize our lives–survival, security and success. As I stated, we live from all three at different times or in different areas of life. However, we have less experience with a fourth paradigm–”Serenity.” Lots of folks believe that it will “happen” to them when they master success. Consequently, they find themselves on a treadmill in which they continually strive for “more,” “better,” or “different,” but somehow feel anxious, like they come up short, even unfulfilled. [Read more...]
I’ve wrestled with this topic for some time. On again, off again. Do I write about it or not? Obviously, I decided to go for it. My hesitancy was knowing that this is a complex topic. I studied developmental psychology in graduate school. In fact, it was the topic of my dissertation. So I’m aware of many theories related to childhood, moral, cognitive and ego development as well as extensive literature from the new sciences of emotional intelligence and positive psychology that describe the stages of human development and especially human healthiness. These subjects have been fascinating to me but I also realize that they are not easy to quantify and measure. [Read more...]
I recall a recent business trip to Puerto Rico. As customary during many of my visits to the beautiful city of San Juan, I was staying at the Beach Club and Waterfront Hotel. Prior to beginning my first workday, I took a seat in the hotel’s small restaurant for a quick breakfast. No sooner than I sat down, I looked out a window and saw the hotel doorman standing outside on the steps into the hotel, maybe 30 feet from where I was seated. We saw each other at the same moment. He smiled and waved and Eduardo, as I’d come to know him, immediately disappeared into the hotel. Next thing I knew he was in the restaurant, big smile on his face, walking directing towards me. “Hi Mr. Allen. It is so good to see you.” A handshake was not enough. He gave me a big abrazo (warm hug), then stepped back and said, “You look so good. How are you and your family? And what brings you back to our enchanted island?” [Read more...]
Hal hated Charlie, everything about him, from his knowing sneer to his rolling swagger. When he saw him enter the restaurant with Keith, he wished fervently he could get away and considered getting up and walking out of the breakfast meeting, without a word to either of his two former partners. But then he garnered his faculties and decided to accept this reality. He would choose how to respond, and his choice would be to be cordial and cooperative. He felt a surge of strength as he realized that handling himself in a dignified manner with both these men would be a bigger personal victory than if he met with Keith alone.
- Excerpt from The Hero’s Choice: Living from the Inside Out
This passage gives you a little insight into emotional maturity. Hal’s immediate reaction was to simply act out his negative emotions. Instead, he made a decision to respond in a more positive (emotionally mature) way. Notice how that decision resulted in a shift in his emotional energy.
I define emotional maturity as the ability to make good, positive, healthy choices during the challenges of life. The following chart illustrates some of the differences in the mindset of someone who is acting emotionally immature vs. mature. [Read more...]
My mother, who passed away seven years ago, has been on my mind these past several days. She loved this time of year—the decorations, the music, the meals, the shopping, the gift making and giving, the surprises and, perhaps most importantly, being with family at a special, even sacred season.
Her excitement was palpable and has caused me to do an inventory of my feelings. Have I captured the excitement of the holidays and spirit of Christmas? I asked my wife, as we left to do a little Christmas shopping, last week, if she was excited. I should have known the answer. Of course she was excited. It’s the holidays. [Read more...]
I put off writing a book on personal development for many years mostly because of the incredible number of self-help books written every year. The marketplace is flooded with people who want to teach you to to succeed, make money, be happy, and so on. And the advice in many of these books is quite good, although redundant. So, I wondered how I could approach the subject matter in a unique way. [Read more...]
Like most people, I love music and frequently find myself humming a tune over and over in the back of my mind. I’ve learned to pay attention to the words of these songs and find that they have significance to what is going on in my life at the moment. Rarely is the entire song relevant; just a line or two that my subconscious mind is telling me to pay attention to—perhaps a lesson I need to learn.
