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Feeling good about yourself on a consistent basis is only possible if you are willing to experience yourself as the source of your own self esteem. Whenever you allow others to decide your worth, life is an roller coaster ride over which you have little control. Taking that responsibility back gives you the power and freedom to be in charge of your life. Ultimately, no one else can decide for us whether or not you have worth. [Read more...]

I’ve been writing about the power of our beliefs these last several weeks. I want to go deeper this week. I’ve worked with lots of people, in both seminars and coaching, who have confronted limiting beliefs very much at the core of their identities. A common belief of masses of people is “I’m not enough,” or “if people really knew me they wouldn’t like me.” Such beliefs are usually formed pretty early in life, at a time when they were vulnerable and lacked the support or internal awareness and resources to make a better decision. Making such a decision can happen as the result of criticism, through comparisons to others, through neglect or abuse. The commonality is that the situation-specific conclusion (often repeated a number of times) sticks and becomes a core belief. [Read more...]

Most of us have grown up with beliefs that don’t serve us. We live in an imperfect world. We are nurtured by imperfect care-givers (some much worse than others). And, especially when children, it’s easy to misread cues in our environment and arrive at false conclusions about ourselves, life and relationships. Then we spend our adulthood acting out those beliefs. They become the paradigm, so to speak, from which we view the world. [Read more...]