Resilience in the Face of Hardship

“The strongest oak in the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun.” Napoleon Hill

I look around at people who have suffered incredible hardship and wonder how they do it. How is it that some people grow up in very challenging circumstances or experience grea­­t trauma or loss and yet survive? In many cases, not only survive but thrive. Like Charlie Plumb in my last post. Upon being captured, tortured and tossed in a small cell, Charlie wasn’t sure he’d make it or that he wanted to make it. Yet somehow he developed the “attitude,” as his doctor back home called it, to overcome his hellish circumstances. [Read more...]

Attitude of a POW

In my newsletter last week I told the story, “You Get What You’re Looking For.” The point of the story is that we don’t see things as they are. We see life through a filter and that filter (not reality) determines how we experience life and, eventually, our destinies.

I want to share the story of a man I became acquainted with some years ago. This is a man who had to step up to a pretty significant challenge and radically change what he was looking for. His very survival depended on his ability to shift how he viewed his life and the choices he made about the harsh reality of spending six and a half years as a prisoner of war. [Read more...]

How to Rebuild Trust – A Key Moment

In my post­­ last week I talked about a familiar theme. It’s not circumstances but our choices that determine the quality and outcomes of our lives.

My example last week was a key moment in which I had to make a decision about how to handle a recent Saturday evening. The choices I made were relatively small in the grand scheme of things but allowed me to experience an enjoyable night evening with my wife that could easily have been otherwise. Although small, these incidents are important. They establish a pattern of being aware, visualizing what is important and making conscious, deliberate choices about how to think, feel and behave. Out of such small choices I gain mastery over my life and learn that I can create the state from which I experience life. [Read more...]

The Gateway of Emotional Maturity

I’m passionate about understanding people like Eduardo. How is it that some human beings live in a place of such, joy, abundance, goodwill? Are they born that way? Were they fortunate to be born into incredible families? Are they of a stronger character or constitution than most of us? [Read more...]

The Pathway to Fulfillment

In my last article, I discussed three ways of living or themes around which we organize our lives–survival, security and success. As I stated, we live from all three at different times or in different areas of life. However, we have less experience with a fourth paradigm–”Serenity.” Lots of folks believe that it will “happen” to them when they master success. Consequently, they find themselves on a treadmill in which they continually strive for “more,” “better,” or “different,” but somehow feel anxious, like they come up short, even unfulfilled. [Read more...]

Stages of Emotional Maturity (Intelligence)

I’ve wrestled with this topic for some time. On again, off again. Do I write about it or not? Obviously, I decided to go for it. My hesitancy was knowing that this is a complex topic. I studied developmental psychology in graduate school. In fact, it was the topic of my dissertation. So I’m aware of many theories related to childhood, moral, cognitive and ego development as well as extensive literature from the new sciences of emotional intelligence and positive psychology that describe the stages of human development and especially human healthiness. These subjects have been fascinating to me but I also realize that they are not easy to quantify and measure. [Read more...]

Life vs. Life Situation

It’s good to connect up with you and I hope you and your loved ones are doing well.

We live in challenging times. I’m going to be speaking to a group of young people in a couple of weeks and their leaders were telling me that these youth feel considerable stress, anxiety and a foreboding about the future. Some of them are depressed. Most of them know school friends who are talking about taking their own lives. Some have friends who have. [Read more...]

The Stories We Tell

One of my happiest memories from my childhood was climbing up onto the lap of a parent or grandparent and reading a story. Reading childhood stories was a way I bonded with my loved ones. It was entertaining. And it was a way I learned valuable lessons of life.

One of my favorite stories was “The Little Engine Who Could.” Just recently I was climbing a “Fourteener” in Colorado. The day was hot. The route to the steepest part of the ascent had been long and I was panting hard as I tried to make my way up an unmarked trail over a steep field of boulders. I recall settling into a steady rhythm with a familiar cadence playing in the back of my mind. “I think I can. I think I can.” [Read more...]

Reality, Responsibility, Results

Like most people, I love music and frequently find myself humming a tune over and over in the back of my mind. I’ve learned to pay attention to the words of these songs and find that they have significance to what is going on in my life at the moment. Rarely is the entire song relevant; just a line or two that my subconscious mind is telling me to pay attention to—perhaps a lesson I need to learn.

[Read more...]

Tribute to the Whitakers

I attended the funeral of a friend earlier this week—Doran Whitaker, who was in a coma for the past four months after a terrible bicycle accident in early June. I have to say that Doran was one of the most positive, kind, and principled men I’ve ever known. From the first time I met him, some 25 or so years ago, I’ve admired Doran’s character and goodwill. He’ll be greatly missed by his family and all who knew him. [Read more...]