The Power of Emotional Intelligence

For years people assumed that IQ was more predictive of life and occupational success than any other variable. After all, doesn’t it stand to reason that the smartest people will outperform others most of the time? It’s logical, but not true. In fact, recent research has found that people of average IQ will outperform those of high IQ 70% of the time. An amazing fact, which prompted social scientists to search for some other variable to explain success.

After years of research and countless studies, the concept of emotional intelligence (EQ) emerged as the missing link. Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and manage your own emotions and the ability to understand and manage your relationships with others. Furthermore, it has been found that emotional intelligence accounts for about 60% of your success on the job and is the biggest predictor of workplace performance, leadership, personal excellence, as well as positive relationships. [Read more...]

Scarcity and Abundance

We live, primarily, from one of two attitudes. Scarcity is a perspective of fear and lack. I look at life and see what is missing instead of what is available. My income, work, family, achievements are never enough. Something is always missing.

Abundance is the perspective of love and gratitude. I see what is right in my job, family, income, living environment. I experience wonderment about the gift of life and beauties of the world, my friendships and associations. I see what is rather than what is not. [Read more...]

The Gift of Gratitude

I vividly recall an experience when I lived in Cochabamba, Bolivia (many years ago). My traveling companion and I met a man on a bus who invited us to come to visit his family. We immediately changed our plans and accompanied him to his home. We arrived at a small, adobe-like, two-roomed house. The floors were dirt and the furnishings were few.

Most memorable was the greeting this man (and we) received from his wife and two little boys, about five and three years of age. They boys hollered and jumped up and down as soon as their father walked through the door. Their father picked them up, whirled them around, and gave them both a big squeeze. His wife, preparing dinner in a wood oven, stopped what she was doing, looked at us a little shyly, approached her husband, and gave him a hug. [Read more...]

The Paradox of Money

Between the end of World War II into the 21st Century, we Americans, as well as the entire industrialized world, got much richer. Far more wealth was created, during this period of time, than ever in the history of the world. Today we live in bigger homes, drive nicer cars, travel more, engage in more recreation, and benefit from technology that makes our lives incredibly informed and convenient. In short, we enjoy a far wealthier life style than ever before.

Yet the paradox is that, in spite of our affluence, we lead troubled inner lives. After peaking in 1957, the number of Americans who rate themselves as “very happy” has steadily declined. Depression has risen to ten times the rate of 1950. Statistics show that our health, sense of well-being, and connection to others have declined. Amazing that we have a greater standard of living and yet seem more dissatisfied than ever.

What’s up with that? [Read more...]

How to Find Happiness

We all want to be happy. Few would disagree. However, the question is, what is the source of happiness? We’ve been socialized to believe it has to do with:

  • Money
  • Possessions
  • Status
  • Power
  • Talent
  • Beauty
  • Achievement
  • Recreation
  • The “right” partner
  • Other people doing what we want

For example, we hold a belief that people who have more money are happier than those who have less. People who live in a big house, achieve more, or take more vacations are happier than those who do not. We are driven by an implicit belief, in our society today, that “more is better.” [Read more...]

Being Real

Being real means being who you are rather than trying to be who you are not for the sake of pleasing someone else. It is being comfortable enough in your own skin that you don’t have to play games, pretend, manage an image, etc. You can be you, warts and all. [Read more...]

The Courage to be Imperfect

Self-acceptance is recognizing that “who I am is okay.” Many people, especially those who are conscientious and internally motivated, have an ideal in mind of who they are supposed to be or what an ideal person is like. Your list may include being intelligent, slim, kind, charming, trustworthy, friendly, young, courageous, frugal, exciting, well-groomed, cheerful, wise, a good conversationalist, witty, loving; the list can go on and on. [Read more...]

The Power We Give Others

When Carol was a young girl, she exhibited a vivid imagination and proficiency in language skills.  She always received “As” in her English and, in high school, excelled in creative writing.  She even placed second in a short story contest sponsored by a popular teen magazine. It was exciting to see her story in print and receive the small honorarium check that came as a result.  Carol felt that she had found her niche in life.  Encouraged by her mother and teachers, she decided she would be a writer. [Read more...]

The Power of Beliefs to Shape Our Experience…and Destiny

The things that you keep silently telling yourself are your most important conversations. Whatever you habitually dwell on in your mind, you will become, express, or experience. Your subconscious mind will be your best friend or your worst enemy. Everything depends on the way you train it and the use you make of it. It is your individual share of the universal creative mind. It is the great cosmic playground of your freedom to think, choose, reason, and decide for yourself. It shapes your destiny and determines the attraction and repulsion of your life. Guard its portals well. It is your hope of heaven.” -Elinor MacDonald

A few weeks back I told the story, “You Get What You’re Looking For.” I’ve had so many people comment that they liked the story that I decided to pick up on this theme again and for a little longer. The point of the story is that we don’t necessarily see things as they are. We see life through a filter and that filter (not reality) determines how we experience life and, eventually, our destinies. [Read more...]

Resilience in the Face of Hardship

“The strongest oak in the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun.” Napoleon Hill

I look around at people who have suffered incredible hardship and wonder how they do it. How is it that some people grow up in very challenging circumstances or experience grea­­t trauma or loss and yet survive? In many cases, not only survive but thrive. Like Charlie Plumb in my last post. Upon being captured, tortured and tossed in a small cell, Charlie wasn’t sure he’d make it or that he wanted to make it. Yet somehow he developed the “attitude,” as his doctor back home called it, to overcome his hellish circumstances. [Read more...]