Living From My Higher Self

If you’ve read The Hero’s Choice, or followed me for very long, then you’re familiar with the Serenity Model, which suggests four different ways of being–Survival (all about fear and just getting by), Security (about being safe and pleasing others), Success (about achieving and accomplishing), and Serenity (about living consciously, from choice).

Serenity is more than a quiet, meditative approach to life. In fact, as I live from this place, I’m alive, aware and fully engaged. I also get that what matters most is not “outside”–my bank account, job title, house, fame, performance (how many games/contracts I win). Not that these are not important. I climb a mountain. I build a business. I give the game my best. But the mountain, the business, the game are no longer the end. They are the means to a higher end–the end of being fully conscious, present, and responsible for my life. The end of living from the “inside out, in which nothing is bigger than my ability to choose my response and how I’ll live. A new way of living based on a new set of rules. [Read more...]

What Now, Since My New Year’s Resolutions Aren’t Working Out?

We have a natural tendency, at the beginning of a new year, to reflect upon where we are and then set goals or make resolutions for the upcoming year. Actually, as I think about it, the tendency is evidence of an innate desire, as human beings, to learn, grow, progress, and succeed. We recognize that we are not all of who we want to be or have not accomplished all of what we desire and so our inclination is to make promises to ourselves about what we’re going to do differently.

Of course, statistically speaking, most people fail to keep their resolutions more than a few weeks or months into the new year. It seems that those who benefit from the exercise are fitness centers and authors of weight loss books. The vast majority of people simply run out of steam. They don’t have the momentum to sustain the feelings (very genuine, by the way) that they want to improve and become better people. [Read more...]

Count Your Blessings

  • You have a hundred million receptors in your eyes to enjoy the magic of a leaf, a snowflake, pond, child, cloud, star, rose.
  • Twenty four thousand fibers in each ear vibrate at the laugh of a baby, sound of the wind, the waves upon a rock, the call of a robin, children at play.
  • You are able to formulate words to communicate your needs, connect to other people, bring comfort to the unhappy, encourage the defeated. [Read more...]

The Power of Emotional Intelligence

For years people assumed that IQ was more predictive of life and occupational success than any other variable. After all, doesn’t it stand to reason that the smartest people will outperform others most of the time? It’s logical, but not true. In fact, recent research has found that people of average IQ will outperform those of high IQ 70% of the time. An amazing fact, which prompted social scientists to search for some other variable to explain success.

After years of research and countless studies, the concept of emotional intelligence (EQ) emerged as the missing link. Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and manage your own emotions and the ability to understand and manage your relationships with others. Furthermore, it has been found that emotional intelligence accounts for about 60% of your success on the job and is the biggest predictor of workplace performance, leadership, personal excellence, as well as positive relationships. [Read more...]

How to be Optimistic

Life involves stress, even heartache, for all of us. Furthermore, studies of people who are happier than average show that they experience the same number of failures, disappointments and pain as anyone. They are happier not because life treats them differently, but because they use different strategies for dealing with their difficulties, strategies that can be learned and practiced by anyone. 

Psychologist Martin Seligman has been able to demonstrate the differences in people who become depressed and those who do not, based on the kinds of attributions people make during difficult experiences. Three critical differences in attribution determine how people experience setbacks, frustrations and failures. [Read more...]

Quotes on Gratitude

I’ve been writing, recently, about the theme of gratitude as a key to happiness. Not only research but personal experience attest to its value and transforming power. And best of all, it is available to all of us in abundance. All we need to do is train our minds to see the goodness of life.

Here are some quotes on gratitude. Which one speaks most poignantly to you? Why? Let’s enrich each other by leaving a comment explaining why this quote speaks to you, telling us the personal meaning it has for you. Then I want to invite you to memorize it and make it part of your life during the next few weeks. Recall it often. Live its message. [Read more...]

Scarcity and Abundance

We live, primarily, from one of two attitudes. Scarcity is a perspective of fear and lack. I look at life and see what is missing instead of what is available. My income, work, family, achievements are never enough. Something is always missing.

Abundance is the perspective of love and gratitude. I see what is right in my job, family, income, living environment. I experience wonderment about the gift of life and beauties of the world, my friendships and associations. I see what is rather than what is not. [Read more...]

A Story of Gratitude

In my studies of gratitude, I came across this beautiful story told by Maureen Deuterma. [Read more...]

The Gift of Gratitude

I vividly recall an experience when I lived in Cochabamba, Bolivia (many years ago). My traveling companion and I met a man on a bus who invited us to come to visit his family. We immediately changed our plans and accompanied him to his home. We arrived at a small, adobe-like, two-roomed house. The floors were dirt and the furnishings were few.

Most memorable was the greeting this man (and we) received from his wife and two little boys, about five and three years of age. They boys hollered and jumped up and down as soon as their father walked through the door. Their father picked them up, whirled them around, and gave them both a big squeeze. His wife, preparing dinner in a wood oven, stopped what she was doing, looked at us a little shyly, approached her husband, and gave him a hug. [Read more...]

The Paradox of Money

Between the end of World War II into the 21st Century, we Americans, as well as the entire industrialized world, got much richer. Far more wealth was created, during this period of time, than ever in the history of the world. Today we live in bigger homes, drive nicer cars, travel more, engage in more recreation, and benefit from technology that makes our lives incredibly informed and convenient. In short, we enjoy a far wealthier life style than ever before.

Yet the paradox is that, in spite of our affluence, we lead troubled inner lives. After peaking in 1957, the number of Americans who rate themselves as “very happy” has steadily declined. Depression has risen to ten times the rate of 1950. Statistics show that our health, sense of well-being, and connection to others have declined. Amazing that we have a greater standard of living and yet seem more dissatisfied than ever.

What’s up with that? [Read more...]